deciphering life

the urge to talk to someone. anyone at all. but when the number is dialed there's nothing to say. no words to describe what i'm feeling.

the urge to paint a picture. a picture of something i mean to convey. but there's no picture, no paint, no palettes good enough to paint that thousand words.

the urge to succumb. succumb to pain. to suffering. to temptations. but i fall short of it. i lack something. and everything's just a bluff.

the urge to want to tell the world. shout it out loud. proclaim proudly. but there's nothing to be proud of. nothing to shout out loud. nothing i should tell the world.

restrained in a place too small to soar. the oceans are full and waves are tall but i'm too near the shore. where to go next. how to?

thinking of many many things and people. all at once. nothing ever stays.